Reach out, touch faith

[chuckaloonie]

I had a really nice weekend. The past 2 weeks had sucked because most of my friends were out of town, but this friday Marcela came back and she brought her brother with her; which is awesome because I´ve missed him a lot since he moved to Mexico City.
She showed me all the clothes she bought, and made me tried them on because she bought them a size smaller than she usually wears just so they would fit me. She´s amazing like that.
She showed me the 2340934805983405 pictures she took, told me all about her trip, Manuel told me about his new life in Mexico, we smoked almost 2 cigarette packs each, we played canasta and ate sushi. I got to her place at 4 pm and left at 6 am. It´s so good to have her back!!

I randomly started thinking about death last night. I hate when that happens, I get so fucking scared and I start regretting almost everything I´ve done. I´m terrified of going to hell, and I can´t help but to think that´s exactly where I´m going when I die. My fear and guilt are that of a devout catholic, but my actions and thoughts are not. I don´t know how to balance them out. Could "fake it till you make it" work in a situation like this? The nuns did an amazing job at fucking up my head.

Comments

[blck-cherry.livejournal.com]

With the time I learned about being a good atheist with a fascination with catholicism. I don't think there's a hell or heaven which kind of sucks since I believe when we die we become nothing. D:

Nuns and priests are terrific at fucking your mind up mwhahaha, but in my case it only lead into pure and beautiful heretic thoughts and words.

If I could I'd write tons of things about catholicism and stuff like that. I lost the concentration.

[chuckaloonie.livejournal.com]

It doesn´t help that my mom is constantly making me feel guilty for being such a bad catholic.

Whatever, one day I´ll find the balance I desperately need :)